I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
