just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
