you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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