Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
