After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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