Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
The power of my boobs compel you
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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