Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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