You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
