i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
