Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize