If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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