it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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