I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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