I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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