Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
