when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize