we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
