This girl is more easily done than said...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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