she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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