i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
