Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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