you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Randomize
