Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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