I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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