Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
