Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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