lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
