Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
