Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i think my mom watched the whole time
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
