when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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