What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize