It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
