she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize