He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
