You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
She's JV to your varsity
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
We need to rekindle our bromance
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
