I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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