im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
