His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
