I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
