All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Thank you for not boning my boss.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
