Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
