Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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