I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
