redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
At least life still wants to fuck me.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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