i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
