I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
