he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
