So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
