Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
