That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
