ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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