Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
