So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
