I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
