I love having hate sex.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
