i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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