Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
