She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
