So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
