I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Panties = found
Randomize
