so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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