I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
