Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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