Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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